It is easy to become distracted when you are estranged from your adult child, and we are with our daughter. You want to search for answers and solutions. I have found that we want to get the problem solved as quickly as possible. The truth is that the problem isn't going to solve quickly. It takes time. We are praying that this season will be short. As good as that sounds, it is too long. Any amount of time is too long. What I am learning is this is a distraction. I can research and work on becoming better for myself and my family. I can go to therapy. In fact, we start family therapy this coming Wednesday. That is a good thing. It will give everyone a chance to improve. Our estranged daughter will not be there. She is not a factor in our family therapy. Maybe one day she will be, for now it is the 4 of us. I have realized how much this estrangement has sucked up time in my life. It has been a major distraction for months now. It is time for that to end.
I started to write about how long it has been. I changed my mind. The time that has passed doesn't matter anymore. What does matter is that I do things that make me happy. What matters is that Nelson does things that make him happy. What matters is that we serve God and love other people. That is the best that I can do. I have been given the opportunity to do 3 shows in the next few months. I want to focus on getting ready for those things. I want to grow my studio more and care for my students and the new students that I will meet in the future. I want to take care of myself and my husband and my home. I also have have a Scentsy business that I would love to see grow. I have enough on my plate. I have enough to keep me occupied and I have enough to focus my energy in a positive way. No need to put my mind on the negative. Abundance is the answer. Loving in abundance, living in abundance, giving in abundance. I have learned that coming from a place of lack only makes you needy. Needy for the approval of others, needy for pleasing people. When this estrangement started I wanted the approval of my children and I wanted to please them. Now...it doesn't matter. I love my children with all my heart. That is the best I can do.
Now I am focusing on my singing, getting stronger, and building my businesses to the best of my ability. That is where my focus needs to be. My estranged daughter has her own issues going on, and I pray she is healed every single day. I can do nothing about it at this point. Nelson can do nothing about it at this point. She wants no communication. To be honest, that is a relief.
Oddly enough, I am more excited about writing and letting the subjects be more about how I am working each day to focus on what I can do on a daily basis, rather than what I can't. Yea! I get to write about awesome students, great Scentsy products, good friends, and working on singing and shows. And maybe a little about family therapy. It is nice to think about changing the story by writing the newest chapter. I am ready for a change.
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