I think I told you in an earlier blog that I am going to work with Nelson at his office to assist him in his job. He owns his own Health Insurance business. Nelson has ADHD, and it helps him to have someone to organize his appointments, remind him of things, and send out texts and emails, while he makes phone calls. There is always some sort of incentive going on, so I think that it's fun to rise to the incentive. Nelson is not competitive, I am. I like to hit goals and surpass them. I keep Nelson going so he can hit them on his end. I find that to be fun, and amusing. Sometimes, people say crazy things to him on the phone. Sometimes they respond in crazy ways, via text. Really, all they have to say is interested or not interested. Nothing more needs to be said. I find it so fascinating when someone is furious over the phone and screams, "I WANT YOU F....... PEOPLE TO F...... STOP CALLING ME! I want to respond by saying, "I forgive you, and will pray for you." Kristen Chenoweth, the Broadway, TV, and Movie Star, says it is great fun to say that and see the look on their faces! LOL. I'm sure that it is fun to see. I am more curious about what is going on within the person that would cause such a reaction to a stranger. The response is so very extreme. It isn't personal. Only two words are required, interested or not interested.
When dealing with estrangement, that is the way it feels. One day, your adult child is interested and the very next moment they are not interested. It seems to turn on a dime. One moment, everything seems fine. I felt like I knew my daughter. Now, I don't know her at all. As I plow this new field, I am deciding what I want to plant. That matters a lot. Where I plow, and what I plant. Nelson and I have made the decision on where to plow. We are interested in helping people. So, we have made the commitment to work hard together and to invest our energy in what we ARE interested in, not in who is interested in us. I am NOT INTERESTED in spending my time on things that don't bring me joy. Over the past year, it has not brought me joy to sit and speculate about my estranged adult child. I do not know what she is thinking, or what she is doing. No news is good news, at least that is how I am taking it. That brings me back to what I am interested in doing.
I think that is the best that we can do for the time being. I am now beginning to enjoy my life with Nelson. We are building something new. Something that is ours. Something that will help people. I am going to start an adult beginning ballet class in September. I was asked to come to a Music Festival in Portugal in September. Good things are coming. I am working on music, I am working with my students, I am growing my Scentsy Business. I have my dogs. I get to spend time with my friends. These are all things I am interested in.
I don't think as parents, we spend enough time asking ourselves, "What are my interests?" We spend a lot of time helping our children, and watching our children, and providing for our children, and worrying about our children. Their interests become our interests. I think it is important to allow ourselves to feed our own interests, most especially when you are struggling with estrangement. All those years that we have spent investing in our children, and once they are gone, we need to rediscover ourselves. I, for one, am having a good time doing just that thing. Nelson is too. (A plus is that I get to decorate our office, and I love doing that too).
I want to do as much as I can for as long as I can. I also can truthfully say this, "I AM NOT INTERESTED, in wasting my life over something or someone that I have no control over. I love all my children, and just like me, they are all adults and have to figure it out. That is adulthood. You spend the first 18 years getting educated, and then you have to just figure the rest out as you go.
There are many things I still want to achieve. I'm going to go after them all. In the meantime, the estrangement will figure itself out.
By the way, I will be, "Live," at 8 p.m. this Thursday on my Scentsy Business Page on Facebook. @sassyscentswithcrystal. I love Scentsy. I love the way it makes my home smell. Having 4 dogs, I need things to smell good. Join me on Thursday and let me teach you about how things that good smell enhance our lives. I would love for you to like my page, and be a part of the fun.
Please remember that you are loved and enough. Please comment below and let us hear from you. We want to know your story. God bless you and keep you. Until tomorrow...
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