Oxford Dictionary Defines Resiliency as, "The Capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties." I can say with absolute certainty, that you must be resilient when you are going through an estrangement with your adult child. I have great compassion for anyone who is going through an estrangement. It is a nightmare for loving, supportive parents, whose intention was to love their child, and teach them to be functioning adults. It is very hard to have your child cut you off and tell you not to reach out to them. It makes your life shift. It changes your outlook on yourself. You begin to question all your decisions. You wonder, "Was I a bad parent and didn't realize it?" It kills your confidence. If Satan wants to hit you in the heart and gut, this is how he does it. In order for parents, and a family to survive, you must be resilient.
Nelson and I have lived in this estrangement for a year now. I know that there are parents out there that have lived out an estrangement with their adult child for much longer. I realize that I have to keep getting up and keep going. I put one foot in front of the other. I started a new path, and a new way of doing things. I have to, in order to gain strength and confidence back into my life. My energy, strength, and confidence were pulled out from under me the day my estranged adult child stop talking to me. What I am finding out is that if you have a major shift in your life, all you can do is carve a new path. I no longer can do anything the way I used to, I am learning a new normal. My new normal includes a lot of new activities. Nelson is building a new business. He is building his own insurance business. I am going in with him early each morning to help him. We are usually in the office by 7:30 a.m. if not before. I spend the day, going in and out of his office as I can. I am working on my continually growing voice studio, and my continually growing Scentsy business. I am going to the gym every single day. I am starting a new healthy diet and am going to work on meal planning and prep for the week. I started taking an adult ballet class, that I attend once a week. I am losing weight, and am now Mrs. Chattanooga America, and I am working on competing for the title of Mrs. Tennessee America. I started a TikTok channel for my Mrs. Tennessee America journey. I am 58, and competing in a pageant. Life is not over, just because I have an estranged adult daughter. I still have a valuable life to live. (By the way, the TikTok Channel is @mrs..chattanooga, please follow me and share it!)
Nelson and I are positioning ourselves to reach all our dreams and goals. It is a lot of hard work, and worth every single bit of our effort. We know we are following the path that God has set us upon. He is lighting our way. All of this occurred due to the fact that our life shifted when our estranged adult daughter cut us off. Is it still painful? Yes, every single day. Nelson and I are choosing not to let it hold us hostage. I love all my children. I just cannot give them the final word on who I am, and who God made me to be. I am too resilient for that to put out the fire that God placed in my heart.
Resilience. Find it within yourself. Life isn't over. It is just different, and it is just beginning.
Please know that you are loved and enough. Comment below, Nelson and I want to hear your story.
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