Today was very interesting. I attended a meeting with my close friend Preston. He asked me to go to a meeting being held by the people here in the city we live that are involved in getting the help and information out into the community about prevention and treatment of HIV/AIDS. It was very interesting information. Some of the information I was aware of, and some of it I was surprised to find out. For instance...Did you know there is a pill/injection out there called PREP? This drug is available for people who are at high risk for sexual activity. It helps with the prevention of contracting HIV. You can receive it in pill form or injection form. The injection lasts for up to two months. I also found out that 70% of new HIV/AIDS patients are African-American. African-Americans make up 1/3 of the population of the United States. That is a huge percentage of the African-American population that are affected by HIV/AIDS. I am processing a lot of information from this meeting. While HIV/AIDS doesn't have to be a death sentence anymore, it is still a huge issue. As long as people continuing having sex, STDs and HIV/AIDS will always be a problem. What in the world does this have to do with estrangement with my daughter?
There are always going to be issues in the world. It is up to us to do what we can to change the world in the best way that we can. Sometimes we come up on a situation that shows us there are bigger things to help with than our self-centered problems. This is one of those times. I am not saying that the separation between my daughter and me is unimportant. It is very important, and it needs to be resolved. I pray every single day that it will resolve. I just know that I have done just about everything I can do from my end. At this point, it is in her court. I have said over and over, I have to work to improve myself. I have to deal with my trauma and keep working on living my best life. I am doing that work. In the meantime, this opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others has presented itself. I am so glad it did. Within my heart, as much as I love my daughter and pray that she decides to speak to me again, I see that volunteering to help this committee is a better use of my time. It is a better use of my energy and my resources. There are so many people out there that are suffering. It is way more valuable to help alleviate that suffering in the best way that I can. HIV/AIDS has affected some of my friends. It doesn't get the attention it used to, and I realized today that we all can get so complacent. To get involved, to move forward in love, joy, and positivity, to show love to other people, that is what I need to do with my time.
Sometimes we have to shift our focus. As a mother, I have spent so much time and energy on my children. Now that the parenting is done, and they are all adults living there lives, I can take that energy and do something that will make a difference and hopefully save someone's health and life. While my children will always be a priority, I love them very much, I can no longer be consumed by the pull of living my life for them. I am learning that I have to live my life for God and me. That is very important. Shifting my focus in a better and healthier direction.
I am grateful today for my friend, Preston. I am grateful that he is in my life, and that he included me in this opportunity. I am glad I met the people I met today. It was a good day. Except for that last part... My little dog, Pippin, got out and ran off. He took us on a wild chase for 2 hours. We called and called for him. I love my little Pippin. I cried and cried. Just when we were about to go out again with our dog, Jace, and Preston's dog, Grace, to see if Pippin would come to one of them, Preston opened my back door and in walked Pippin! He was hot and his hair was full of leaves. We call him the little Emperor. He believes he owns the world and everything within it. It seems as if Pippin decided that He needed water and out of the heat, so he came back to his throne room. He had enough of surveying his kingdom for now. He knew where food, water, shelter and love were, and he returned to it. I have hope that one day soon, someone else that I know and love will decide the same. Until then...I choose to wait patiently and redirect my energy into doing something that will inspire others to make healthy choices for themselves. I believe that is a better use of the time God has given me.
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