Let me tell you about my day. I got up and went to Nelson's office with him, where I spent a lot of time taking notes from successful people in the office, in order to support Nelson. We have a great deal of catching up to do. Before we arrived at the office, we went by Wal-Mart to restock sodas in the refrigerator. I accidently fell into a vending business within the office.
On their own, people started paying us $1 for the sodas. So...now I keep them stocked in the refrigerator there. I am about to expand the selection, and add snacks. Why not right? It keeps them from having to leave the office, and I don't charge as much as the vending machine in the food court. I have a Scentsy business, so I put up some posts on social media for that business, which I am about to expand as well. I asked a friend, to please help with setting up business Social Media for Nelson. I have to start posting for him and streamlining those areas of Social Media. I came home, let the dogs out, and then taught students. I went out to dinner with my BFF from college, and then I went back to Nelson's office to finishing taking notes. That is a great day for me. I love to work. It also helps with distracting myself from the estrangement with my adult daughter. Sitting around feeling sad and crying about it has done me no good. Now, I feel more like myself, and I have more of a purpose.
Netflix. Amazon Video. Hulu. Apple TV. They can only help you hide for so long. Eventually you have to get up off the couch and do something. I am on my knees daily praying over our estrangement from our adult daughter. I am memorizing scripture to fill my mind with God's thoughts and words. I still cry. I allow myself to cry when it is necessary. The more therapy I have, the more I am learning how to express my emotions and embrace them. We all have them. God has them, and I am made in God's image. The difference is that I am human and live in a fallen world. God does not, and His ways are not my ways. I fall prey to how my emotions roll over me. Therapy, prayer, and work help me. My DBT, (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), encourages and teaches me to set an intention and then take action on that intention when I feel the waves of emotion rolling over me like a tidal wave. That is why work helps. It is a great distraction from the pain. Another thing I have learned is that sitting around hiding and feeling depressed, and wallowing in the pain, does not pay in any way. It steals. It is a thief. It doesn't add one thing to your bank account. It makes you poor in spirit, poor in mind, and poor in heart. I know that I am much more than the overwhelming tidal wave of pain and loss that I feel. I am loved by God and He still has a purpose for me and my life. If He didn't, I would no longer be here.
I work, because I love to work. I find it soothing. I love having goals, and achieving them. I want to see myself achieve for greater than I can imagine. I can do that, because God says I can, and it is in Him that I am confident. I want my estranged adult daughter to come back into my life, but why should she, If I haven't changed in any way? I am getting a move on. I am getting my groove back. I feel that something good is coming. I know it is, even though I don't know what it is.
Tomorrow morning, I am starting a new routine. I have set my alarm for 5 a.m. I want to become a member of the 5 a.m. club. I am going to the gym early. I told you in another blog that I have something to announce. I am hoping I can announce that by the end of the week. I have to start the work now. Off to the gym I go. I have BIG goals that only God can accomplish. I want to climb to the top of the mountain, like Moses, and make it into God's presence. I want to finish the race. I am excited to see God at work. The gym is where I have to go. I will be making that an early morning habit, because I want to be in Nelson's Office with him by 7:30 in the morning. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. I have lived a life that is tough. I have learned, I have grown, I continue to grow. With God's help, I will see huge things happen. I am glad I am writing this, just so that I can look back over it and see how far God has brought us and celebrate and praise Him for all He has done. I can tell you this, I wouldn't be able to do what I have done today, and I will not be able to accomplish what I am about to do without His power within me. I realize that more and more every day. God is good every single day.
September marks a year since my estranged adult daughter stopped speaking to me. Thank you God for keeping her safe and watching over her. I pray He blesses her more and more. I can honestly say, "Thank you, Lord," for this estrangement. If it hadn't happened, I don't know I would be where I am today, writing the words I am writing today. I have found my thanks for this situation. Thank you God. I have found my purpose in this situation. Thank you, Jesus.
Please know you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us hear from you. We want to hear your story.
Comments